Lokashun: A Secrit Fishin’ Spot

My furst date were so speshul that it bogglify my mind (an’ that ain’t tu hard tu du).

Miz Dianna dun axed Pappy out fur a date! We fished and had us a time. We sat by a pond, arfter I giv Miz Di sum purty flowurs, an’ we did our levil best tu pull in sum lunkers.

I got rite drunk, caught me wun fish (Miz Di landed a big ol’ mess of ‘em).  Then I drunk sum mo’.  Miz Di did, tu,  as did her bo’frend (well, another wun other than Pappy I meen).  He are a cowboy hoo kum on by a-ridin’ a hoss, tu.  He lives round Tombstone, a part o’ Secund Life whar they ain’t nuffin’ but cowpokes, gunfites, an’ saloons like they had theyselfs in the 1860s. I dun bin thar, tu buy me a dubbil-bar’l scatturgun fer protectin’ my still an’ Shine (it are runnin’ fine, I tell yu, as kin ol’ Wiggly, my employur hear at the noosepapur).

The hoss were useful, becuz all of us were fallin’ down rite quik frum the Shine. Ol’ Tex were abul to stay in the saddil, but it were a woozy thang to see.

Anysohow, that cowboy tole me to treat Miz Di rite, tu, which are easy tu du cuz she are sich a likeabul lady.

Aftur she beat me fishin’ (by a mile) we rode sum bumpur-boats, a watur-slide, and evun caught sight o’ tu avamaters nekkid an’. . .oh, I ain’s surposed to say sich thangs. Miz Di woodn’t let Pappy take no pitchurs o’ that (durn it), but we did git sum rite gud wuns you folks kin see.

So I bin meenin’ to tell them-thar editurs (an’ reeders, tu) wif durty-durecktid minds: ain’t awl o’ Secund Life ‘bout sex and sichlike (tho I tips my hat toward Miz HoJo, a professhsunal in that line). 

Yu kin have yerself a rite nice time wifout nuffin’ knotty happnin, lessen you meens gittin’ drunk, fallin’ in a pond, seeing a feller riding on the back of a hellerfump (I hain’t kiddin’—see my pitchurs).

PS to Mistopher Mark Trail: I dun my best tu simperfly my ritin’ style tu help yu along, if’n yu is still reedin’ this blob nowadays. Yu kin ax yur frend “Brawny Man” tu help yu out if’n it reemanes a tough row to hoe fur yu.

I’ll deffy come to Tombstone too!

Ma’am, it were truly wun fine time.  Next we Enochs an’ Brinks am a-gonna hit Tombstone fer shure.  Look out, cowboys!

Pappy the flowers are beautiful they are on my mantle in my apt. THANK YOU! And I’m sure no one would believe the “hefalumps” so I’m glad you got a picture. It was a fun day I am looking forward to ging to Tombstone - I got my gun all cleaned up!
Miz Di

Post Your Comments: