Location: Our Virtual Advice Desk
Dear Miz Di,

I am havin’ mysef a tarribul time in Secund Life.  To keep my proberlum in as few wurds as I kin, here it are: Every gal in that-thar meataverse am purtier than Ellie-Mae Clampett. I luvs ‘em all (yerself included) so I keeps perposin’ wedlocks to every wun I meets. Am this a tarribul thang tu du?  Butt if’n it are a fake wirld ennyhow, why cain’t they AWL become my wifes an’ I’ll have me wun o’ them-thar harry-ums like that ol’ Sultan over in Cornstarchapple, or Itzabull, o’ whutevur them Turks calls it this week? Mistopher Ignoramus dun bin thar, in reel life, an’ he sez they all gits along sumhow, deepite lots o’ purty gals and fancified weddins’ an so on. What in the Sam Hill shood I du, ma’am?  How kin I stop a-warin’ my heart on my sleeve? I are wastin’ away worryin’ an figgered yu mite help me out sum.

Sin-seerly,
Lonesum Pine

PS: Wood yu marry mee?

Dear Pappy…umm… I mean Lonesum Pine:

If you keep proposing to every purty gal you see, you think any of them will take you seriously? Even tho SL is a “fake wirld” people there still sorta hold to real world traditions. So the harem idea is definitely out. Women don’t like to share their men, trust me. They’d all be arguing over who gets you when and for how long, and all that fightin’ and jealousy would plumb wear you out and you’d NEVER have no fun. If you really want a SL wife, then you better get serious. Find you some good ole gals that you like and start courtin’! When one rises to the top – like the cream does when you’re milkin’ the cow – that’s the one you need to propose to. ONE – not ALL. Sometimes when you are obsessed with finding something it never seems to turn up. Don’t you want that one gal who really wants you, instead of the 1st one to say “yes?” So stop trying so hard - just go out and meet purty gals and date and flirt and have you some fun. If you stop looking so hard maybe Mrs. Right will find YOU!!
XXOO
Di

PS: no – I’m the jealous type

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