By Guest Writer Pappy Enoch
Location: Woodstock Music Festival

Well, I are happier n’ Jawge Jeffersun wen that feller bekum a dry-cleanin’ magnet n’ moved to a dee-lux ‘partment in the sky wif his good gal Weezie.

That am rite: I are now part o’ HippiePay Free Spirit, which am a fancified groop whar yu kin dance fo’ mo’ Linden n’ yu cood shake a stick tu find.  I are sooo durned happy I cood bust wide opun! WHY?

Well, it ain’t them-thar Linden Dollars, I kin tell yu: It am the wimmin folk at Woodstock.

Yu sees, bof places lets yu dance n’ camp (I ain’t evur lived no udder way) fo’ munny, but at Woodstock they am mo’ egg-speriunced avamaters (which in the gals’ kase, meens bettur lookin’) ).

Miz Kim—in my foto—kum ovur tu meet mee. Oh my Gawd, but she am a purty Texan. It am like that-thar James McMurtry song. When I saw her, I reckoned I had “died n’ gone to Houston.“

Now dont’ git me rong: I don’t mess wif Texus in jineral, an’ I dun promised a bunch o’ them-thar gals that I wood bee-have, less’n Miz Tempest o’ Miz Twyla—hoo won’t marry mee—throws mee off’n the I-land.  I did give Miz Kim a copy o’ my hat (picthured in my fotomography).  She cuts a rite-nice figger in that-thar hat, if’n I mite be so bold tu say so…

I are a-wurkin’ on a plan tu marry awl them wimmin, yu knows, becuz pollywogamy am not agin’ the law in Enoch Holler (thar bein’ no law tu speek of).

I gots Free Spirit all figgered out—I kin bring my truck, sum Shine, sum udder type of corn to eat, my dawg, an an outhouse wif me (cornpleet wif readin’ in the form o’ that Ol’ Farmer’s Arithmanac n’ the Victoria’s Secrete Catty-log).  I won’t ever have to mosey off.  An’ I’ll du me sum o’ them-thar marketin’ surveys they gots on the I-land tu.

I dun wun of ‘em n’ got a free huntin’ magerzine full o’ dead animals n’ guns I coodn’t never afford.  Well, not yet….y’all stay tuned. I reckon this much fun cain’t last, and I’m bound tu bee banned quicker’n ol’ Mistophur Cecil.

Be sure to check the “In a Strange Land” Archive for old posts

Kim,

The author of this blog, the management at Media General, the Times Dispatch, and the Web editors for these organizations assume no responsibility for Pappy Enoch

But we all love him just the same

Well Pappy, at least you got my good side in the photo.    And thanks again for the hat

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